Friday, 27 May 2011
.:: 11th Year Together... ::.
Labels: Anniversary
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
.:: This Thing Called Friendship ::.
I'm cold-hearted, I'm conceited and I'm stubborn. That's what I've become when I felt my friendship is betrayed, backstabbed & misled one way or another...Other than that if you know me very well, I would have treated you even better than my next of kin and you would mean the world to me. To the extent, I'd do anything for friendship!
I'm not saying that I'm the perfect party in this thing called friendship as I know that there were moments I'm being a self centred bitch!
Yes I'm egoist when things don't go my way but being so buffers me from all the emotional turmoil & hurt. Its better that way. And it doesn't mean moving on makes me forget about our friendship, about you or about us any lesser....
I forgive, its just I don't forget easily! This is the way I handle conflicts! Yes, its harsh!
I realised something over the years about this thing called friendship. Some people when you know the person deeper and closer, you realised what took us so long to find each other as we bonded and clique very very well.
Some, once you knew closer, its ain't worth and it would only be a beautiful relationship of a 'hi-bye' kinda friend. Why do I say so? Coz by knowing closer, it kinda spoil the good impression I have of the person or vice versa! Certainly due to some issues or the true colours have emerged. This is when the magnetic force began to repel.
And of course there's this one person, I love to bits as a close friend. One who'd be there to support me with words of encouragement and one whom I'd laugh at the crazy antics and one who would irritate the hell out of me, once upon a time. But one day, I had to make a painful decision of letting go of a tight bond formed over the years . I felt it was the best thing to do at that moment as our friendship was betrayed. Both of us were the culprits and I quickly need to 'cool things off' before things got off to another level which we both might regret or I might regret forever. A desperate act by staying silent.... till today.
Its painful and there's never been a day I didn't feel guilty and kept questioning myself if I've done the right move. I'm not sure if I'm forgiven or probably I'm already forgotten. But no matter how much guilt I have by keeping mum, its a way of me wanting to save a once beautiful friendship.
I'm not sorry but I miss you terribly! :(
Labels: Friends, Ramblings, Reality Bites