Sunday, 23 January 2011
.:: Contentment ::.
I've been staring at this empty screen for the past 5 minutes or so, thinking hard on how to express my thoughts in writing. When before this, my head was full of ideas and wanting much to blog. Irony, huh? Or maybe its just pure mental block! Pfft!Anyway, just let me ramble a lil bit without any order of prority. I'm gonna just type whatever comes into mind first. So bear with me ya...
Lately, been thingking much about stuff which has been happening around me. Seems life has its own twists and turns. Full of ironies and surprises. At times, the feeling is worse than an adrenalin rush when one is taking a roller coaster ride. I learn not to assume or anticipate too much on things which has been happening lately. Not worth having a heart attack over such matters! hehe!
The other night, Bebeh and I were talking in the car with Ilyas sleeping soundly at the backseat. He was saying that some people or their spouses were lucky to have each other but yet contentment is hard to pursue. Personally, I feel that nowadays, not many have contentment. One is never enough and there's always more, bigger, better, richer and the list goes on. If we gonna let such thoughts rule our heads too much, one day we'll die without even knowing the feeling of satisfaction!
I told him that we are lucky to have each other as our life partner and he agreed. I'm not saying we are leading a perfect life or a divine marriage. Of course we do have our own sets of weakness and dirty linens but I guess, we managed to compromise our flaws with our strengths as husband and wife. We managed to learn the art of balancing & juggling on the marriage scale. And I hope, we are able to perfect the art just like how my parents and grandparents did.
Slightly than a decade ago, I recalled someone close asking me if I'd ever imagine living my life with someone else rather than with Bebeh. That question was posed to me when I was teary-eyed and feeling if I was going to do the right thing of marrying Bebeh. Even at my state of pre-wedding blues, with confusion in my mind, I managed to tell my friend that I could never imagine waking up every morning without having Bebeh by my side. Another person filling his shoes is totally something I cannot envision.
Now, 11 years later, I'm still having the same thoughts. It was definitely something I did not look back and no regrets earn in marrying the man I love. For better or for worse... In sickness or in health, this is what I want till the day I'm six feet under.
Insya Allah.
