~ The Mosaic Of My Life Continues... ~

Busy Me!

2012-01-25T22:38:00.001+08:00

We, humans are creatures of habit. Our minds are always conditioned to accept changes around us.

Don't we? Routines do that to me... Talk about routines, it seems that it's becoming a routine for me to be working late frequently.

My head is bogged down with work even when I'm in the shower or when I'm taking a leak in the middle of the night!

Am I getting stressed out or what? And as a result, been having awful breakouts on my face! Dang! Thank God for make up.. Haha!

The few things or people which kept me sane while I'm at work, are some bunch of friends and music from my lappie. Small talks, lunch breaks & tea times with friends in the office helped me ease my mind...

Other than that, calls or messages from external friends also give me a breather...

But the best part is when the office is almost empty, it's always been the music which kept me company. Seems that my brain juice is flowing more productively compared to during office hours.

Howell, hope this busy period is not gonna be forever... *fingers crossed*

Ramblings Of A Working Mom

2012-01-09T21:14:00.001+08:00

Work is getting more and more. It's like taking most of my time and the only proper break I have is over the weekends.

There are nights where I had to work late to clear stuff. After office hours is the best time to gather my thoughts and clear some paperwork.

Nowadays, I try hard to be home early as Ilyas is schooling in the morning session, especially if Bebeh is in the afternoon shift. Someone gotto check on his schoolwork.

At times, I felt that I'm a terrible mom who can't afford to be there for him, not only for guiding him in his studies but also as a moral support to my only son. There are nights I'm home early but sometimes I'm just too mentally exhausted to do anything except seeking solace in my room.

I'm trying hard to juggle my career and being a mother. I want a balanced life and I hope I'm able to see my son grow up. I don't want to be home when he's already asleep and only had a chance to say "hi" in the morning before he goes to school.

Neither do I want to neglect my career when now I have to prove my worth to my bosses when they had just promoted me last year.

I have faith in myself and I think it's all in setting my priorities straight. On top of that, time management is the essence of a success in a balanced lifestyle.

And I am in pursuit of that essence...

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T21:30:00.003+08:00

2011 come and go just like a breeze and may 2012 be a better year for all of us!

I haven't been blogging much lately coz was too caught up with work. But managed to spend some quality time with family and friends by going on a road trip to Perak & Penang...

Bebeh has been working in 3 shifts for the past few months. There were lonely nights or days when we only get to see each other but the other is asleep. Sux! But we'll manage... Distance makes the heart grew fonder, remember?

And yes, due to someone's special request, I've changed the songs in my blog.... only this particular person has special request on songs in my blog coz seriously, I doubt there's anyone else who reads this blog of mine! Lol!

People asked me if I got any new year's resolutions and most of the time I don't have any coz I doubt I can fulfill em! ahakz!

But, but... this year I got a simple new year's resolution... easy to achieve but its difficult for me to practice and that is to drink at least 1 litre of water daily! lol.... seriously, I have difficulty in doing so & as a result I've been having loads of breakouts on my face lately....

Day 1 of 2012 is coming close to an end and did I put my resolution to practice? The answer is : NOT YET! hahaha....

Hokay, I'm going to have my litre of water... meanwhile stay tune and hopefully, I'm able to blog again real soon!

Chow peeps!

Birthday Shoutout - 111111

2011-11-10T20:34:00.005+08:00

This post goes out especially to a friend who's gonna turn 36 tomorrow. Nice date... 111111!

I don't have any expensive presents or lavish gifts to offer you except a lifetime of my friendship.

I hope you'll have a blast spending your special day with your loved ones tomorrow. May you be blessed with abundance of health, wealth & happiness, insya Allah!

Happy Birthday, Cik!

Thanks for always being there always. In good times or bad hair days, I'll stand by you. Your 'invincible wall' is damn hard to crack and let alone break it down... but hopefully one day, we can do our 'barter trade'... Lol!

Haha! What a coincidence, coz while typing out this post, the song that you made me listen to, a year ago, is currently playing in my playlist.... Neyo's Never Knew I Kneeded...

"For the ending of my first begin

And for the rare and unexpected friend

For the way you're something that I never choose

But at the same time something I don't wanna lose

And never wanna be without ever again"

~NeYo~

Time

2011-10-23T10:01:00.000+08:00

6 Years & More To Come

2011-10-11T21:40:00.001+08:00

I just realized that it's been 6 years that I have been blogging.

Time sure flies and reading some of my past entries made me realized how much I've matured. Yes, I got older & wiser too, I must say (masok bakol, pikol sendiri, nampak?!) Lol!

Anyway, it's always been a joy in blogging my thoughts. A form of de-stressing for me. Something which I've been doing since I was a teenager. Those days, they call it diary, remember? And yes, I still keep my diaries during my secondary school days.

So no worries, peeps as I'm sure there'll be more entries to come in this humble blog of mine... (Haha! Nak step macam ramai peminat aje!)

Yours sincerely,

~hayabusa_babe~

Random Ramblings

2011-10-04T20:42:00.005+08:00

Today, I had lunch with Kuniang at ION. One hour of catching up and gossips! I'm glad that she's happy at her current workplace. No worries, as there'll be more of lunch dates with her!

This morning, Bebeh messaged me and informed that his shift will start this Friday onwards and for a start, its gonna be his off day. I'm not too sure how things are gonna be once shift work starts full swing. Definitely I'll be seeing less of him and the need for me to be more independent will be more. Feeling a lil skeptical but then again, in the name of a better future. Hey! Don't blame me, hokay coz 11 years we are having a day job and all of a sudden he's working in 3 shifts. Give me time and I'm sure I'll adjust. The pressure would on me to stay focus and on mainstream! LOL! Ssshhhhh!

And talking about this coming Friday, Ilyas is gonna go to Kuantan with my parents for a short getaway. Lucky him as he will be surrounded by his doting grandparents and other relatives while on weekends, Bebeh is working in the morning shift. Guess, its only gonna be me & Bibik at home.... Gawd! Probably will watch some movies online and be a couch potato.

The year end exams are coming for Ilyas and I'm a bit worried. He needs some pushing, nudging & coaching when comes to revising school work. Once he's back from Kuantan trip, there'll be more drilling & grilling for him?! haha! But seriously, I do get the jitters! Sometimes I felt that I didn't push him too hard or I didn't encourage him to study consistently and on top of that many times I would feel like I'm a bad mom who didn't pay much attention to him. Please pardon the ramblings of a distraught mother! Haha!

Lately, I've been going home on time and not working late. So far, I've been able to cope the major bulk of work, although work can never end. There's yet to be any re-shufflement to be carried out after my promotion. The only setback was that my team lost a member when her contract was not renewed due to poor work performance. Other than that, we are coping well, in general.

And of late, I've been laying low on friendship. I take things as it is and treasure those who treasure me. Cik, if you happen to read this entry, I'm saying thanks to you for not giving up on me when at times, I felt like giving up on friendship! I'm having my low moments... hope you understand when I didn't make the first move to sms/call/whatapps you lately. Aku kan sahabat musibat kau! Bear with my nonsense, k and please don't give up on me like how some others would.

Enough of my random ramblings and lemme watch TV, hokay?! Chiow peeps! Till the next entry...

A Low Moment...

2011-09-26T19:32:00.004+08:00

If you are one of my loyal blog readers, you'd notice my yo-yo attitude about friendship. To be frank, I'm currently facing a low moment about the attitude of some of my friends.

Some got too caught up about work that I began to drift away them. I'm currently having some bingit issues with this one. Haha! Seems to be too obsessed about finishing work that made them forget to stop and smell the roses.... No matter how hard I try, I can't help them if they are not helping themselves!

While another is doing the disappearing act! No respond via msn or sms. I've done my part and I can't hold on forever... Dunno what went wrong! Hope you'll be back someday...

I told myself previously, I can't hang on too much on friendship... people come and people go whether I like it or not. Definitely it hurts for me but I can't change the way things are, at times...

So, I've gonna put up with my 'I don't give a shit or a damn' attitude and move on with life. They are after all my friends. They will come back eventually. If not... too bad then... Its our losses but its not gonna be the end of the world for me. Its gonna be tough, I'll miss them but then again, do they really give a shit about me?

Hmmm...

If I could turn back time, 2007 is the year I would want to return to. That's the year when I was so carefree and my focus in life was only, my family and riding. Friends were in my picture but was not much of my priority back then.

Oh ya, that would also be the year where I was still having my spleen and no broken bones yet! haha! Hokay, lame joke but then again, back then, I was a much simple person with lil worries about life...

Howell, enough blogging about crappy stuff. Like it or not, I gotto move on and shift my primary focus to my family instead, which reminded me about this funny quote I read somewhere...

"I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass."

~Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr

A Disgrace!

2011-09-21T20:44:00.004+08:00

I must say that I'm quite affected with the attitude of a particular supervisor in my unit. He's attitude definitely has tainted my impression upon him even further, as some of us know how sux his attidude could be at times...

If I was the customer, who happens to be from another Ministry, I'd have a negative impression upon my departmart or even my company. Tsk tsk tsk...

Isn't there any protocol in serving customers or at least the decency to wait till your customers leave, irregardless if its beyond your working hours?

Such things, need not have standard protocols but at least, basic working etiquettes!

Four Men & A Lady

2011-09-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

The Flamboyant One
The one whom I tried to live without but no matter how hard I tried, I'd ended up going back to square one. Our communication level is a love-hate cum hot & cold kind. But we synchronise easily be it thoughts or opinions. Nobody can understand us except us. So, there's no point explaining further then... :)

Let's just say, our trust for each other is far beyond comparison. He who charms with his flamboyant characters and not many knows the pain beyond his cheeky grins. An upfront facade he has and only few knows the real him.

The Cautious One
He who has yet to find an inch of trust in his heart to share his stories with me. He ponders and he frequently takes a step back, each time his heart opened up a lil bit.

Among all, the one I'm comfortable with and felt free to share my darkest secrets with. Till trust he has, I shall keep mum. For I believe, communication is a two way traffic.

Of late, distance is what I felt. Sadness and frustration I can feel from him. May he find light at the end of the tunnel and for that light maybe an answered prayer for him.

The Philosopher
Almost every conversation with him is mind boggling. He who made me think and be wary of my answers to every of his questions. The one who would awaken the theorist in me.

It is always refreshing when exchanging ideas or point of views with him. We don't really communicate often but when we do, there's no looking back! At times, I'm like a debater, who would listen carefully and would rebut back with my views...

The Biatch
He's the one I would run to when I'm in need to bitch in the office. Be it office gossips or whining on personal matter. He's always there for me in the office.

No matter how trivial my problems or worries are, he'd always offer a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. Frequently, he would threatened to throw his shoes size 7 at me if I were to lose focus with work!

And above all that, his life problems are more serious than mine....

Today, I realised that I'm lucky to have all four as my friends. They are dear to me and the best part is that, I'm much luckier to have Bebeh as my life partner, a husband and a soulmate as he understands me for being close to each four of them in their special own ways.

So, probabaly I should stop complaining and enjoy life to my fullest coz not every woman is as lucky as me!

:)

Miss U, Kuniang

2011-09-11T09:19:00.001+08:00

I'm testing out if I can upload pics via mobile blogging...

This was taken a few days ago when it was Kuniang's last day of work..

I'm so gonna miss her...

Mobile Blogging

2011-09-11T09:03:00.001+08:00

Yoohoo!

I'm trying out the new Blogger apps to blog via my handphone...

Test test 123...

I'm ecstatic! So much convenience & less hassle....

Sofa

2011-08-20T13:24:00.004+08:00

I didn't know that parting with an 11 year old sofa would be hard. I decided to keep part of it in my bedroom.

That sofa has bittersweet memories, I tell ya... haha!

A place where we'd gather family and friends during good times and bad times for the past years. It was our very first sofa we bought when we shifted into our humble abode as a newly wed.

Thank you Lorenzo for designing such simple but yet has a zen look in that fabric sofa of ours.

Emo Freak Not Anymore!

2011-08-07T14:59:00.004+08:00

The other day I was reading my old rants in the office. Showed how much time has flies and how much I've changed.

And Alhamdulillah its for the better. Much in control of my emotions and my thoughts. Makes me feel how childish I was previously.

Haha! I guess, not really childish... its more of I was an emo freak previously! LOL!

Howell.... those were the days .... and those days wouldn't have mould me to who I am today...

And for that I'm thankful... Syukran!

Perfect

2011-07-14T22:47:00.006+08:00

Its been a while...

You didn't change a bit!

For a moment, I was like a happy lil girl who gets to choose her favourite sweets from the candy store..

Thanks for recommending the song.... And I think I'm falling in love with Boyce Avenue!

Missing In Action

2011-06-29T21:00:00.009+08:00

Wow! A month I've not blogged & yes many things happened! To summarize, here's what I was up to while missing in action :-

~Promotion~

Unexpectedly got promoted! Alhamdulillah syukur but this time it was really something I didn't expect & hoped for. I was planning to happily 'hentak kaki' till I retire... But darn! Promotion = More responsibilities = More work = Some tongues wagged! Yep... tongues were wagging coz probably some of the reasons I could brainstormed was, my gender, my age, my race & probably some wondered if I deserve this new post. Well... what can I say? Its not something I wanted but since I'm entrusted to take up this post, I'll just have to prove my worth. Period!

~Umrah~

Nah, not me who went umrah recently but it was my Papa & brother. They went for 2 weeks and during Papa's absence, been busy visiting Mama almost daily. She had Ilyas & my Bibik to accompany her... So had my dinner quite frequently at parents' crib. At times, bro would post photos of his spiritual visit to the holy land. Browsing through his photos, made me miss Mecca & Madinah. Insya Allah , one day I'll return to the holy land.

~Balik Kampong~

After their return from Umrah, my family had a short getaway. We didn't hesitate much to return back to our self proclaimed kampong, Kuantan. Together with Zul's family, we tried staying at the new hotel, The Zenith Hotel. Nice hotel & cool ambience. There's just something about Kuantan which I can't much explain. Probably, the food, the people, the ambience and the route along the coastal line before Pekan all roll into one to make us & Zul's family dare to self proclaimed it as our Kampong!

~Sick & Hospitalised~

For almost 3 weeks I've been under the weathers. Having flu and a nasty cough which refuse to go away. Earlier this evening, I've gone to the doctor again to get my 3rd round of medications. Hopefully this time it will works. Seperately, when we were having our short break at Kuantan, we were informed that Mama was hospitalised as her feet were swollen and she was slightly breatheless. She's yet to be discharged and its already 11 days she's recuperating at TTSH. Daily visits were made but I get quite frustrated with the strict visiting hours and the quota of visitors. Alhamdulillah, she's made progress and getting better. My fingers are crossed and hoping that she'll be discharged latest by next week.

~Demise~

On the same day we received news that Mama was warded, her younger brother, Ayah Nawi was also admitted at NUH. He has been battling with nose cancer for the past 4 years or so. However, Allah loves him more than any of us and he passed away peacefully on the evening of 23 Jun 2011. His burial was made on the following day and last minute arrangements were made to ensure Mama was granted with home leave to pay her last respect to her brother. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly as planned. Ayah, you are greatly missed by all of us. Al-fateha...

~Birthday~

28th of June, somebody turned older... I hope you've turned wiser too , as you get older...although the cheeky & crazy part still existed. As usual, I've got no lavish gifts to lure you like the rest of your 'fan club'... Just a lil prayer, wishing you a lifetime of bliss...

Its already coming to end of June and looking back, it was a hectic month for me... Hopefully, I'm able to get back on track soon...

Miss blogging and having to blog all these events in this post, I feel much relieved.... Phew!

11th Year Together...

2011-05-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

This Thing Called Friendship

2011-05-10T20:00:00.006+08:00

I'm cold-hearted, I'm conceited and I'm stubborn. That's what I've become when I felt my friendship is betrayed, backstabbed & misled one way or another...

Other than that if you know me very well, I would have treated you even better than my next of kin and you would mean the world to me. To the extent, I'd do anything for friendship!

I'm not saying that I'm the perfect party in this thing called friendship as I know that there were moments I'm being a self centred bitch!

Yes I'm egoist when things don't go my way but being so buffers me from all the emotional turmoil & hurt. Its better that way. And it doesn't mean moving on makes me forget about our friendship, about you or about us any lesser....

I forgive, its just I don't forget easily! This is the way I handle conflicts! Yes, its harsh!

I realised something over the years about this thing called friendship. Some people when you know the person deeper and closer, you realised what took us so long to find each other as we bonded and clique very very well.

Some, once you knew closer, its ain't worth and it would only be a beautiful relationship of a 'hi-bye' kinda friend. Why do I say so? Coz by knowing closer, it kinda spoil the good impression I have of the person or vice versa! Certainly due to some issues or the true colours have emerged. This is when the magnetic force began to repel.

And of course there's this one person, I love to bits as a close friend. One who'd be there to support me with words of encouragement and one whom I'd laugh at the crazy antics and one who would irritate the hell out of me, once upon a time. But one day, I had to make a painful decision of letting go of a tight bond formed over the years . I felt it was the best thing to do at that moment as our friendship was betrayed. Both of us were the culprits and I quickly need to 'cool things off' before things got off to another level which we both might regret or I might regret forever. A desperate act by staying silent.... till today.

Its painful and there's never been a day I didn't feel guilty and kept questioning myself if I've done the right move. I'm not sure if I'm forgiven or probably I'm already forgotten. But no matter how much guilt I have by keeping mum, its a way of me wanting to save a once beautiful friendship.

I'm not sorry but I miss you terribly! :(

Fiery Flame

2011-04-25T20:57:00.002+08:00

This fiery passion is beginning to flicker weakly....
What's in the name of passion when we can't experience it, feel it & enjoy it?

I dunno if its time to let go....
Maybe I should...

Age is catching up and probably I should change my focus of interest...
Yeah, change to knitting & sewing? Lol!

Ah crap! Another Monday filled with gazillions PMS hormones, perhaps?
Hokay, ignorge me... probably need some sleep.... but then again, I'm serious about the portion that my used to be fiery passion flickering weakly now....

And it doesn't even need a gust of wind to put off the 'fire'.... Trust me! :(

Burning Books

2011-04-03T10:03:00.003+08:00

In my Facebook account, I added this quote :

"Friendship is like a book. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write one!"

I came across this meaningful quote through one of those forwarded emails and decided to include it in my FB. So much truth in that few words.

I must admit that I'm not proud of 'the very few books' which I've burnt in the past. But its either something painful that I have to do or its because circumstances which led to it!

But it doesn't mean that I didn't feel bad or guilty on the choice I've made 'to burn those few books' and there's not a single day which I don't think or miss these few people who used to be part of my life for a moment in time.

I'm not sure if there's gonna rekindling of lost friendship and I'm not sure if its worth it but one thing for sure, moving on ain't easy and yes, I'm still struggling!

At times, I'd have my 'what-ifs' moments (yes Cik, I do have them but not as frequent as yours! :p) and wonder if what I've done and what I've chose is something right or would situations be better if I've not 'burnt those very few books'....

I finally derived that what I did was to my advantage. This is to prevent people or situations hurt me any deeper or confuse me any longer... Total cut-off is what I need to 'stabilise' my emotions and re-evaluate on what has happened and gone wrong.

And yes, in other words, it was another way of building my imaginary walls up again...

11 Long Months...

2011-03-30T21:01:00.006+08:00

Its been 11 long months of doing night inspections once a week and on alternate weekends.

Now I'm quite safe to declare that its... GAME OVER!

Its beginning to feel kinda weird and probably it will take some time to get use to...

No longer need to make Bebeh to chaffeur me around after 11pm.

No longer having to drag Bebeh & Ilyas along on alternate weekends.

No longer need to feel jittery and having to be cautious when I conduct my inspections, especially late at night.

No longer having to schedule around my private life on weekends just to suit my professional duty.

And no longer need to prepare reports on my off day.

However, there's one thing I'm gonna miss terribly...

I'm gonna miss the OFF DAYs and being able to wake up late while others were slogging their arse off at work! Hehe!

Heroes

2011-03-23T21:21:00.004+08:00

A beautiful song and my tribute to those very few who are my friends and became my heroes one way or another…

As the sun goes down in front of me It reminds me where I wanna be, with you and you alone Pull me in like you were made for me I’m losing faith in gravity and I just need to let you know And I just need to let you know

I’m not gonna come down, down off of these clouds All these heroes come and go, you’re still standing You teach me to rise up, to open my eyes up All these heroes come and go, you’re still standing You’re still standing

When the world’s confusing, I don’t care I’ll crawl into your atmosphere I know you’ll make it right You’re all I need to know

I’m not gonna come down, down off of these clouds All these heroes come and go, you’re still standing You teach me to rise up, to open my eyes up All these heroes come and go, you’re still standing

I believe that you can save me And you’ll never let me fall I believe in what you’ve shown me Maybe there’s a hero in us all

I’m not gonna come down, down off of these clouds All these heroes come and go You teach me to rise up, to open my eyes up All these heroes come and go, you’re still standing

I’m not gonna come down I’m not gonna come down, you’re still standing All these heroes come and go, you’re still standing All these heroes come and go

~David Cook~

Silly Rookie

2011-03-02T21:25:00.007+08:00

We've trained her & guided her for past 2 years or so.. The time has come to let her go... May her potentials bloom and let her silliness fade! Afterall, she was our very own Silly Rookie...

This morning, we gave her our team's farewell gift and a few of us got teary eyed, including me. Personally, I HATE goodbyes! It was such a different atmosphere compared to our goodbyes when Fendy left us for another department about a year ago. The irony was that we'll still be seeing her around as she's only a few doors away from us! haha!

All the best, Shidah!

And dear God, please don't let the new rookie in our team be another silly one! Thank you, God... :)

The 'What Ifs' In Life...

2011-02-16T20:56:00.004+08:00

Cik asked me earlier today if I have my 'what ifs' in my life or am I the type who doesn't look back...

I presume most people will have their 'what ifs' in their lives... pretty normal to feel so. But I don't really let it bother me too much... Certain things happened, unplanned or against my wishes... Shit happens... so just get on with my life... As the saying goes, "Things happen for a reason"... so if it doesnt go the way I want it to go, I just gotto put up a brave front & move on with what's in store.... Perhaps the future has better plans for me.

Then later on, I was thinking of another aspect of 'what ifs'... Like for instance, How my life would be if I'm not with Bebeh? Or how I'll be if I'm with someone else, instead? Will I be as happy and contented as I am right now or even a better life than this one? But then again, such thoughts shouldn't linger too much in my head cause I wouldn't want it to damage my heart.. :)

I don't deny that certain history or my past, I'd like to amend if only my 'what ifs' can make it come true so that certain episodes in my life would 'flow' in a nicer or in an amicable way... But then again, nah... I'm happy with how things are at the moment...

Contentment

2011-01-23T09:27:00.005+08:00

I've been staring at this empty screen for the past 5 minutes or so, thinking hard on how to express my thoughts in writing. When before this, my head was full of ideas and wanting much to blog. Irony, huh? Or maybe its just pure mental block! Pfft!

Anyway, just let me ramble a lil bit without any order of prority. I'm gonna just type whatever comes into mind first. So bear with me ya...

Lately, been thingking much about stuff which has been happening around me. Seems life has its own twists and turns. Full of ironies and surprises. At times, the feeling is worse than an adrenalin rush when one is taking a roller coaster ride. I learn not to assume or anticipate too much on things which has been happening lately. Not worth having a heart attack over such matters! hehe!

The other night, Bebeh and I were talking in the car with Ilyas sleeping soundly at the backseat. He was saying that some people or their spouses were lucky to have each other but yet contentment is hard to pursue. Personally, I feel that nowadays, not many have contentment. One is never enough and there's always more, bigger, better, richer and the list goes on. If we gonna let such thoughts rule our heads too much, one day we'll die without even knowing the feeling of satisfaction!

I told him that we are lucky to have each other as our life partner and he agreed. I'm not saying we are leading a perfect life or a divine marriage. Of course we do have our own sets of weakness and dirty linens but I guess, we managed to compromise our flaws with our strengths as husband and wife. We managed to learn the art of balancing & juggling on the marriage scale. And I hope, we are able to perfect the art just like how my parents and grandparents did.

Slightly than a decade ago, I recalled someone close asking me if I'd ever imagine living my life with someone else rather than with Bebeh. That question was posed to me when I was teary-eyed and feeling if I was going to do the right thing of marrying Bebeh. Even at my state of pre-wedding blues, with confusion in my mind, I managed to tell my friend that I could never imagine waking up every morning without having Bebeh by my side. Another person filling his shoes is totally something I cannot envision.

Now, 11 years later, I'm still having the same thoughts. It was definitely something I did not look back and no regrets earn in marrying the man I love. For better or for worse... In sickness or in health, this is what I want till the day I'm six feet under.

Insya Allah.

Those Were The Days...

2011-01-14T20:48:00.002+08:00

I miss those days when we were united as 1. 1 passion, 1 interest & 1 common goal which was adventure touring...

I miss having to laugh out loud on our crazy antics and wacky stuff which we would do, no matter how much distance we need to cover & how much sweat we have drenched!

Those moments were beyond friendship but more of 'water running thicker than blood'! And that was just months back.

And now? We are divided and we need to choose... Not fair for some of us... Not fair for me, especially!

I was just browsing photos of our 3NCR. We had a hell of a good time and we rock each other's world... and now? Its just a vivid memory of my past and how I wish I could turn back time and make things good or prevent things from going ugly!

I guess, let time heal everyone's wounds. It will not be the same again and that's sad, to me...

:(

Busted My Dislocated Ankle!

2011-01-04T13:26:00.005+08:00

Did my routine inspections last night when I busted my dislocated ankle! I was busy taking photos and trying to rush some cases for the night when the painful experience happened.

Took a step back to give way to a pair of roving eyes watching my movements, pretty close by. A miscalculated step caused me to land on my dislocated foot unprepared... Managed to gather the remaining energy and was determined to complete 2 other cases nearby before limping back to Su Frosty (my car).

There goes my inspections after 11pm, too painful to even limp and let alone walk. Bebeh & Ilyas fetched me from our carpark. Bebeh suggested SGH's A&E while my solution in fixing a busted ankle was synflex (strong painkiller which I always have with me).

Woke up this morning still limping and visited our family doctor. Gave me 2 days of rest and more synflex pills to pop. Hope I'll be fine by Thursday to return back to office.

What a way to start working on a brand new year? Haha!

Game Of Life

2011-01-02T21:52:00.007+08:00

My first entry in 2011 and its not gonna sound that ecstatic at all to usher the brand new year...

Our friends been facing life's challenges, one by one... This what I call the Game Of Life. Some people will win the rat race while others will falter and surrender to defeat...

Its depressing to watch those close to us are being tested but yet almost failing to survive the challenge... Life is so cruel and unfair at times but I'm sure God has greater plans for all of us.

People change and how many times we've heard that? Even we have gone through that... All of us go through changes in our life... but some are so abrupt that others need time to let reality sink in!

Changes change people... don't you think so? I do! Change one's attitude, change one's perspective, change one's goal in life... and changes made people forget, forget where they belong and forget where they come from!

When emotions rule too much of the heart, the head gets too cloudy and some get too big-headed!

Its heart-breaking when crisis is all over me and I can't do much... But on the other hand, I'd rather not, cause being too involved, will get me totally misunderstood. Learnt my lesson well... Been there, done that!

Well, I'm just praying for the better for our friends out there. May they see the light at the end of the tunnel... This is another offroad journey in their lives... may they ride the highway of life again!

Good luck my friends... May the force be with you!

Goodbye 2010

2010-12-28T11:32:00.006+08:00

In a few days time, 2010 will come to an end.
A year which zoom past me like a blink of an eye.
Memories are just what I have of 2010.

But the most significant memory of 2010 is all about friendship... It being tested...
Friendship strengthened...
Friendship gained...
Friendship rejuvenated...
And friendship lost...

I vividly remembered that a year ago, I wanted so much to 'kill' a character of mine who did not bring any good to me... and yes I did but I had a price to pay in order to get rid of 'her'. A heavy price to pay indeed...

My perspective on friendship changed since then. I seem to have made a mental note, not to get too close and comfy to anyone. It will not be the same again, probably lesson learnt. Not fair to others, some may say... but its to safeguard my own emotions.

Bebeh had his own fair share of friendship being tested and we know its time to raise the bar. Probably we looked too highly on friendship while others don't appreciate the same way as us. But then again, this is life. Nothing is fine and dandy. I guess, we all have to learn from mistakes.

I'm not hoping much for 2011. Just an abundance of health and happiness for my family and friends.

Goodbye 2010...
2011, Bring it on! I'm waiting....

Power Couple

2010-12-06T12:12:00.005+08:00

A close friend of us told us that in his eyes, we are a power couple. We are always full of love for each other. He has always been envious of us and wished that his relationship would be as strong as us.

Bebeh and I may not be the couple like Posh-Beckham or Bradjelina but we fit perfectly for each other. We will fill other's gap of flaws with the other's strength to balance this relationship. We are bonded with the presence of Ilyas in our lives and our passion to see the world....

We lead a simple life and on top of all that, we have our friends to rock our world! There's no secret to our blissful marriage. Any couple can be in our shoes....

I'd be lying if we don't have problems... I almost lost my focus once, I admit. We do have our ups and downs just like any relationships but I guess, we didn't let such stuff to get into our heads too much. We settle things amicably and rationally.... Always use the head and a lil from the heart! It works, trust me...

Love is not about you or me but it's about us. Embrace each other's strengths & flaws & we will have us till the end of time...

~hayabusa_babe~

Expect The Unexpected

2010-11-23T20:36:00.006+08:00

Expect the unexpected and that's what I need to remind myself. I was overloaded with information for today.

Nothing really shocking... No worries... No need to notify the relevant authorities! Haha!

I guess, just need a little time to let reality sink in...

Hope its not due to the turn of events as it seems both are on the re-bound... Common interest or similar life journey may at times be the reason.

On a seperate note, today I was super cranky and been whining almost non stop.... Poor B & Cik having to be my punching bags... haha! And I realised that if I sleep worrying or whining over something, the lousy mood just wouldn't go away but instead it got worst the following day!

Howell, I just want this dark and sombre period of my working life to be over quickly. If not, the Bitching, the Moaning & the Whining is gonna get HORRIFIC!

I hate my job! I hate my job! I hate my job! For now... *Disclaimer*

:p

Birthday Dedication To Cik...

2010-11-10T19:06:00.002+08:00

Dearez Cik,

I'm just not sure what brought us back closer again....
Probably a signal from God to assist me, one way or another... yet again!

Some people come and go in my life with a purpose.... mostly to be there for me when I think I'm at one of those low points in my life....
I'm not too sure why at times, once the objective is met, those who used to be close to me, will tend to drift apart...
At times, due to certain reasons but mostly naturally, the rift comes in... This is my cycle of life, no matter how hard I tried to change the course of direction...

As for you, we used to share a history together but now we are close friends who would irritate the hell out of each other at times! haha!

You are like my Papa who would nag at me when I don't do things the right way and always have to knock some sense into my head....

You are my 'steam-cutter' who would never fail to give me numerous anti-climaxes when I'm sharing with you with any hot gossips, stories or jokes....

You seemed to know each time I'm up to something no good and your presence always reminded me to 'behave'... just like my Guardian Angel...

And above all that I've mentioned on your multi-roles, you are my friend who is always there for me when I'm in my Bitching, Moaning & Whining (BMW) mode. Ahakz!

As tomorrow is your BIG day for turning a year older, I've got no presents for you... except this special entry, decicated just for you...

Happy Birthday & Thanks Cik! For everything...

I can't promise that we'd be this close forever, till the end of time... coz I'm afraid that one day, we'll drift apart... just like how I've experienced with others...

I'm just enjoying the moment and this will be my memory... your memory... and our memory... Come what may ya?!

Do have a blast on your special day tomorrow with your loved ones.... may you be blessed with abundance of health, wealth & happiness!

Just me
~Dek~

A Glimpse...

2010-10-27T14:10:00.002+08:00

I caught a glimpse of you and it was enough to send my heart racing....

"20 10 2010"

2010-10-20T19:22:00.004+08:00

Today's date is such a nice number....

"20 10 2010"

And yes a nice day to juz chillax at home too....

Last nite was my duty again.... and past 2 weekends too! Urrghh! When will this be over? And we've been doing this for almost half a year! Yes, believe it or not!

Half a year = 6 months = time zoomed past!

:(

Hangover!

2010-10-12T22:14:00.006+08:00

Being away from work for quite a while is totally unhealthy for me. My body may be in Singapore but my mind is still wondering aimlessly at Hatyai, Danok & Kedah. Haha! They have yet to sync!

I feel that I'm totally myself being surrounded with friends who share the same riding interest ...and we know each other's characters inside out... like how loud we snore and how bad the loo would smell after one has finished with the big business in it! I didn't need to worry what clothes to wear, what kind of eye make-up I wanna put on or whether my hair is in place.... I'm simply being myself...

My best riding moments would be when its just me, putting on my riding gears, pillion riding with Bebeh and having to feel the wind against me... Watching the beautiful sceneries pass me by as we were heading for our destination... having to watch the break of dawn and witness the beautiful sunset on a foreign land. Breathtaking and simply mind refreshing!

Yes, I'm still experiencing from a riding trip hangover! More than a week has passed but sweet memories still linger.... How to move on when most of the time I'm receiving notifications from my handphone on the comments made by friends on the the photos I posted in FB... Guess, I'm not the only one with the trip hangover, huh? :)

And yesterday, was being dared by Bebeh to edit Din's pic to look like the Toyol in the movie 'Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak'... Haha! Edited the pic in a rush and this was the final effect...

Haha! I know, bad photoshop skills I got but not bad for a few minutes of rushed art work! And to date, been receiving at least 56 comments and 12 likes on the photo!

Reminiscing

2010-10-11T16:50:00.006+08:00

I'm suppose to go back to office tomorrow after being away for more than a week! Wish me luck!

For now I'm reminiscing my moments in Hatyai, Danok & Kedah with the crazy bunch!

Dumb & Numb

2010-09-14T20:24:00.003+08:00

YOU are my non-existence....

YOU are my perfect stranger...

I was DUMB!

But now I'm NUMB!

In The Name Of...

2010-09-02T20:29:00.002+08:00

Interview has been carried out...

Photoshoot is next in line...

Then it will be out in the national papers...

And later on it will be a radio talk show...

All in the name of...

A.W.A.R.E.N.E.S.S

Forever Young

2010-08-27T20:00:00.003+08:00

I was listening to this song earlier while spring cleaning my room.... and at the same time, was messaging with Cik...

Told him that the song was nice... a remix of an old song and he even bother to find out for me who sang this new version and in return, I gotto decipher this song for him....

Was reading thru the lyrics and the only thing I can decipher (my own point of view) is that most people wouldn't wanna grow old and wanted to be forever young...But is that what we really want? To be forever young just because we are worried of growing old or are we afraid of dying...?

Note to Cik : Happy now? :p

[Mr. Hudson]
Let's dance in style
Let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit
Life is a short trip
The music's for the sad man

[Chorus]
Forever young
I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever,
forever, and ever? (Uhh)
Forever young (Young)
I wanna be (Aye, may the best of your todays...
Forever young (Be the worst of your tomorrows...
Do you really want to live forever, (But we ain't even thinkin that far...Ya kna what i mean?)
Forever, forever young

[Jay-z]
So we livin life like a video
Where the sun is always out and you never get old
and the champaign is always cold
and the music is always good
and the pretty girls just happen to stop by in the hood
and they hop they pretty ass up on the hood of that pretty ass car
without a wrinkle in today
cuz there's no tomorrow
just a picture perfect day
that last a whole lifetime
and it never ends
cause all we have to do is hit rewind
So let's just stay in the moment smoke some weed drink some wine
Reminisce talk some shit forever young is in your mind
Leave a mark they can't erase, Neither space nor time
So when the director yells cut, I'll be fine
I'm forever young

[Chorus]
Forever young
I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever,
forever, and ever
Forever young
I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever young

[Jay-z]
Fear not where, fear not why, fear not much while we're alive
Life is for living not living uptight
til you're somewhere up in the sky
Fear not die I'll be alive for a million years bye bye's are not for legends i'm forever young my name shall survive
Through the darkest blocks, over kitchen stoves, over Pyrex pots, My name shall be passed down to generations while debatin' up in barber shops
Young slung, hung here, showed that a nigga from here, With a little ambition, just what we can become here.
And as the father pass the story down to his son's ear younger get younger every year (yeah)
So if you love me baby this is how you let me know, Don't ever let me go, thats how you let me know, baby

[Chorus]
Forever young
I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever
Forever young
I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever young

[Jay-z sings]
Slammin' Bentley doors,
hoppin' outta Porsche's
Poppin' Up on Forbes' list
Gorgeous (hold up,)
Niggas thought I lost it
They be talking bullshit,
I be talking more shit,
They nauseous, (hold up) I'll be here forever
You know I'm on my four shit
I ain't with foreclosure
I will never forfeit
Less than four bars
Guru bring the chorus in
Did you get the picture yet?
I'm painting you a portrait of Young

[Chorus]
Forever young
I wanna be
Forever young (Forever young)
Do you really want to live forever
forever, forever young

~Jay Z feat Mr Hudson~

Main Stream

2010-08-16T18:52:00.002+08:00

My life is back to main stream...
Its not easy but I know its for my own good...

There are days I'm confused and angry...
Everything and everywhere reminded me of those times...

But there are also days where it all made sense....
Where I'm emotionally and mentally back on track...

Anyway craps aside (to those who can't figure out WTH I'm ranting here)... some plans are falling into place...

If everything goes well, I'll get to feel the wind against me once again.... soon, real soon!

Happy

2010-08-06T19:30:00.002+08:00

Of late, songs expressed the best of my emotions....
And this is one of them...

As for a particular friend, stop trying to decipher the songs that I love to listen to...
Yes you know who you are...

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose, you can't have everything
Don't you take chances, you might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain 'cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side and watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy, ya
Just wanna be happy, ya

Holding on tightly, just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role, slowly disappear, oh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names, get me out of here
But I can't stand by your side, oh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy, oh, happy, oh

So any turns that I can't see
Like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim, don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy, oh, yeah, happy, oh, happy
I just wanna be, oh, I just wanna be happy
Oh, happy

~Leona Lewis~

Blessed

2010-08-02T21:21:00.005+08:00

At the end of the day, its them whom I look forward to...
In Bebeh's comforting arms...
And in Ilyas' warm embrace....

We are never a perfect family but I'm blessed to have them to complete me....
They are my reality....
I love them both dearly...

Thank you, Allah!

Never Knew I Needed

2010-07-31T15:19:00.005+08:00

It was quite late and received a buzz from MSN...
A friend wanted me to listen to this song...
It explains all...

And true enough, we are both a rare and unexpected friend to each other....
Thank you for everything...

A twist of fate has brought us back closer and here's to a lifetime of friendship....

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing (oh yeah)

For the ending of my first begin
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
And for the rare and unexpected friend
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
For the way you're something that I never choose
But at the same time something I don't wanna lose
And never wanna be without ever again (oh oh)

You're the best thing I Never Knew I Needed
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily (ever after oh oh oh)
The way you smile and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter (oh oh)

You're the best thing I never knew I needed (oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (that I needed)
So now it's so clear I need you here always

Who'd knew that I'd be here (who'd knew that I'd be here oh oh)
So unexpectedly (so unexpectedly oh oh)
Undeniably happy (hey)
Said with you right here, right here next to me (oh)
Girl you're the...

You're the best thing I never knew I needed (said I needed oh oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (needed oh)
So now it's so clear I need you here always
Baby baby
Now it's so clear I need you here always

~Ne-Yo~

Angels Cry

2010-07-29T22:20:00.002+08:00

Well it's hard to explain but I'll try if you let me
Well it's hard to sustain
I'll cry if you let me
This doesn't change the way I feel about you or your place in my life
(please don't cry)
Can't you see I'm dying here?
A shot of broken heart that is chased with fear

Angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way

Intentions that were pure have turned obscure
Seconds into hours
Minutes into years
Don't ask me why
(please don't cry)
I can't tell you lies

Angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way.

My heart burns through
My chest to the floor
Tearing me silently although abruptly
Words can't hide as I'm taking you home
And I tried to see
Tried to understand your words as I'm taking you home

Angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way

~The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus~

Near & Strong

2010-07-26T22:03:00.003+08:00

The time is nearing and I hope I can stand strong...

*fingers crossed*

Not This Time!

2010-07-19T21:29:00.003+08:00

The real challenge ain't here yet...
But rather 2 weeks later....
Coz thats the stage where I normally falter and become soft-hearted!

But not this time...
I'm not gonna let it happen!

Even if suppression gonna lead me to depression....
My imaginary walls ain't gonna go down!

Misguided Ghosts

2010-07-15T16:38:00.003+08:00

I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back, don't try and follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes

And run
From them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no road
In fact they follow me

And we just go in circles

Well Now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify,
A broken heart and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

And run
To them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not, Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me

They echo me in circles

~Paramore~

The Truth Prevails...

2010-07-15T11:52:00.004+08:00

C.R.U.S.H.E.D!

That's how I feel when I know the truth that hurts my emotions and ego...

This is not the first time but it will be the last time I've allowed myself to be so naive by your actions... Told you before, I'm capable... and yes I found out the ugly truth the hard way!

I have relingquished my whatever position you wanna name call me. Strike me off from your long list as I think I've done my best and beyond your expectations at most times for these past years. Its time for a new taker for my 'post'... I QUIT!

Oh btw, I have a name and don't name call me with a general name which you use on others as well!

Being used, I was told and now I have to agree to that. Someone else told me not to be overconfident and the worst have yet to come! Well, now its in sight and bring it on!

My Immortal....

2010-07-11T09:22:00.009+08:00

Your current favourite song is still there after this one ends... But this one is my current priority!

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

~Evanescence~

Special Request

2010-07-09T21:02:00.009+08:00

What's the big deal of just changing to a song specially requested by someone?

Nothing compared to a room at sky garden in a lavish hotel as a birthday gift?

Suddenly feel so inferior but then again... this is just what I can afford... haha!

So hope you are happy with this current favourite song of yours appearing for the 2nd time in my blog... and having my current favourite to give way to yours....

Anything for you (within my means)!

May you have a safe trip to the Land of Thousand Smiles....

Life is short... Ride hard!

Exhaustion

2010-07-06T22:45:00.002+08:00

Mentally and physically exhausted!
When will this be over?

Getting numb or probably dumb?
I'd rather lead a normal professional life...
Like seriously...

Perks aside... I don't need them when I can't even reap my own benefits & entitlements....
Fark! *oops!*

In need for a BMW session with my Sistez4Eva to unwind....
And btw, there'll be no more overseas vacation till year end!
Great... just great!

Attn : Mr Multistrada a.k.a Mr Yek

2010-07-01T20:51:00.005+08:00

2nd entry for the night. This one is more on a cheerio mood and doesn't deserve to be shared together with that earlier entry full of anguish! Hehe!

This one goes out to you, Mr Multistrada a.k.a Mr Yek....

You seemed to be back, out of nowhere, stalking my blog again huh?

Since when you've obtained access to surf the net from your office again? I thought it was restricted?!

Or is it from other available connection? Hmmm... I can't seem to locate your IP address and probably from a secured network huh? Benci ar! :p

Anway, I'm ecstatic that at last you've gotten your dream bike after the long wait and yes, you've succeeded in making me jealous.....

You've made me miss FD6S all over again when I saw you riding that red Multistrada the other day...

And yes, I'm mentioning it again and this time officially in my blog that the sound of that Multistrada is such a turn on.... oh hell yeah! hehe!

Please tell your partner, she's one lucky pillion, hokay!

Hey, with a powerful ride like that, please conquer the road and travel the world! 1000km day ride is way behind your league... Pick a new challenging route will ya?! hehe!

But remember, safety comes first... when you see enticing corners, get down your bike and push through the bends ya?! Lol! *personal joke*

Blood Boils!

2010-07-01T20:13:00.005+08:00

I was SUPER PISSED this morning when I read an email from a team member. Pissed coz her work etiquette SUCKS BIG TIME! When everyone else in the team are scrambling against time trying to play a part in running an enforcement team, she can't even do a proper housekeeping of documents and checking things properly before sending out an email to the whole world! And mind you, everyone else in our department would DIE to do her kind of job which is simple, routine and SAFE! And yet someone couldn't even keep up! Grrrr......

I definitely did threw tantrums in the morning and I didn't give an eff! With blood still boiling, I left for a course to be attended. Luckily, situation was salvaged by the time I was back during lunch... BUT salvaged in an unprofessional manner (so of her) but I don't give a *beep beep*! If that important document was lost, she'd deserve a shout, nah make it a big loud roar from me! *ROAR!!*

Orang lain kerja macam nak rak... macam nak mampos kat luar... sedap2 je nak hilangkan document? CB... KNN ar! *oops! pardon my french!*

And just for the record, I'm normally able to control my emotions well but not this time... She's getting on my nerves!

And one more thing, I'm not having PMS ya!

Gilera Not!

2010-06-28T19:48:00.006+08:00

I messaged you at noon to wish you 'Happy Birthday' since its your day today. And later on you decided to show me your new 'Gilera'...

From work, you dropped by at my place before you went home....and this was what you were riding on....

Ya rite! Gilera eh?! @#$%!

Count yourself lucky its your birthday today, if not.... I would have scratched that tank of yours!

LOL!

Coincidence Not!

2010-06-24T01:53:00.004+08:00

It is no longer coincidence when its getting too often!

I'm seriously beginning to believe that you are my Guardian Angel!

And there goes my chance of displaying my 'devil's horns and tail'!

*Roll eyes*

Deja Vu!

2010-06-16T23:45:00.004+08:00

Past few days has too much of Deja Vu for me! Or is history repeating? Please, not that!

From people, to words exchanged and today I've realised something else... One song but sung by 2 different singers with different genres....

I didn't know that a song which appeared more than a decade ago and later on became chart toppers again a few years back can bring a whole lot different meaning to me but equally symbolic!

And guess what? I've been listening to both renditions of the song for the past hour at repeat mode!

How funny it is that when the original is played, I'm at a light and happier mood, a sign of moving on and at ease.... while when I listen to the other vesion, my memory is being rushed to back then when it all began....

One song, different time and mixed emotions at this moment! Hokay, I think I've tortured myself enough listening to those songs... time for my beauty sleep...

Goodnight world!

Compare & Content?

2010-06-14T22:52:00.003+08:00

I still can't bring myself to share...
Not yet... not now or maybe never at all!

And who says letting go is easy?
Too complex and too unique, shall I say?

Comparison is an absurdity, then...
As for today, I'm a lil too pleased for a contention...

:)

Mode : Fidgeting!

2010-06-05T21:40:00.004+08:00

Having my break in between....

Flexibilities & perks do have to come hand in hand with sacrifices...

Hope its not gonna be that long...

I'm beginning to fidget!

Evolution

2010-05-30T19:21:00.004+08:00

Ilyas, our pride and joy has evolved to a young man.

Although he was nervous about it, he managed to put a brave front.

It was a painful procedure for him and without a doubt, he will remember it for the rest of his life.

Congratz darling, we are proud of you!

10th And More To Come...

2010-05-26T21:54:00.004+08:00

We are never the perfect couple. Full of flaws and shortcomings. And there were days when I felt like clobbering you to pieces.

But it seems what I lack of, you fill the gap with your love. We are like 2 puzzles fitted nicely together. We rawk when we combine and co-ordinate our strengths in unity.

Your aura amaze me and its like my drug to my serenity.

I love you, Mohammad Isham.

Happy 10th Anniversary!

A Year Older

2010-05-24T09:23:00.003+08:00

For more than a decade we've spent birthdays together and I'm praying for many more decades we are able to do that again and again.

May you be blessed with all the good things in life and may you have an abundance of good health, wealth and happiness.

To my other half, Happy Birthday Bebeh! And I'm glad you love your gift! *winkz*

Perks & Sacrifices

2010-05-19T21:50:00.002+08:00

Some perks just got to come together with sacrifices...

You lose one and you'll gain another, huh?

I guess, that's just what life is all about!

Enjoying every crazy moments but not wanting to repeat the same old mistakes...

The past is something for us to look back and learn from, never to repeat when one mess is yet to be cleared...

Hey, anyway, I'm almost there... and I will be there...

And this will be the past which has tainted me a lil to make me a better person tomorrow...

We'll Be A Dream

2010-05-17T22:10:00.006+08:00

Its funny how one can relate to a song by just listening to it for the first time...

This song made me reminisce my past...
It just brought me there...

Full of memories....
Beautiful and colourful...

We The Kings - We'll Be A Dream

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Whoa whoa
Whoa whoa
Whoa whoa

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

In The Shower...

2010-05-13T22:14:00.004+08:00

Its been an arangement for the past week...

I'd be accompanying an old friend in the shower after a hard day at work which ended slightly after 8pm...

Haha! Not physically but via phonecall....Speaker phone mode on and we'll talk till shower ends and my friend is out of the place...

Reason being the place is a lil too quiet and my friend felt a lil uneasy alone....

In the name of friendship..... SANGGUP!!!

:)

Time

2010-05-10T23:13:00.007+08:00

It was nice seeing you again although it was an impromptu meet up. One hour of catching up over late lunch was fun. Looking at you, made me remember our times back then. We both have changed but we both know how much we mean to each other and thank you for the beautiful friendship. Time and distance can never seperate us.

~*~*~

Time will tell and time will heal. You will always be there no matter how hard I tried. Instead of giving up, I decided to be more cautious not on you but more of me. For only I can stop my own predicament and giving time on my side, I will. This will be without the need of losing you and the unique friendship that you have offered me.

~*~*~

Your presence of late, seemed to be God-sent. Maybe God send you to me to assist me in finding self recovery. This is usually what God does to me each time I send an SOS signal to Him. I trust Him and I know whatever He has in store for me is for the better. Time used to be a gap between us but time has also brought us back together. Lets just see and make the best use out of it.

~*~*~

It seems this time, irony has intertwined with time....

Superwoman

2010-04-27T21:53:00.003+08:00

Heya! Been busy lately and gonna even be busier in the next few months! Will be bogged down with work...work...and more work!

The heat is on... Probably I just need to go to work wearing a cape and a red pair of undies!

God, please give me all the emotional and physical strength that I can get to brave the current crisis at work....

Till the dust settles...

Humps & Bumps Of Life

2010-04-14T23:22:00.004+08:00

I'm not doing too well for the past week. 1 bad news after another. Emotionally affected.... although it got nothing to do with me but they are my friends... we are like brothers and sisters...

My prayers are with them and I hope things are getting better... I can feel their pain and felt helpless and I can't do much!

We've been through stuff together, we ride together, sleep in the same room and eat from the same plate together. How can I not feel their pain too? Past couple of days has made me teary-eyed and having to smudge my eye make-up a couple of times when I think about them....

Like I mentioned to 1 of them, now its like riding on the offroad and but he'll get to ride the highway soon...insya Allah...

On a lighter note, someone told me he misses his bike which he has sold off and made a special request to me to publish his bike photos in my blog to commemorate his loss? hehe! I've yet to do some editing to the pics.... so its akan datang, hokay Babe?

Watch out for this space....

Come N Go

2010-04-11T21:32:00.003+08:00

I've realised something lately....

People come and go in one's life but some are just meant to be there... even after being away for a while, some just tend to return....

Status of relationship may change or bonds could be tighter than before but whatever their presence have in store for me, they are a part of my life, for now....

They were there in my past and I got a feeling that they'll be around in my future too...

Oh well.... anyway..I'm so looking forward to the coming working week... coz its gonna be a short one! :)

Its time to let the hair down and have a hell of a good time! Friday, please come quick!

Cameron Highlands With Familia

2010-04-07T12:42:00.004+08:00

Over the extended weekend, we drove up to Cameron Highlands together with my family. Its Ilyas' & Su Frostie's virgin trip there.

Long winding road, cool weather and panoramic view has made this family time more eventful. Even lil Syafiq was enjoying the weather and Ilyas got excited as he had a chance to pick strawberries.

Dear Allah, I'm blessed to have such wonderful family... Alhamdulillah!

Oh btw, this song by Ahli Fiqir seems to be having so much air play during our trip there and besides that its one of my current favourites... :)

And as usual, the rest of the pics are up in FB and Multiply....

Umpteenth Time

2010-03-29T21:26:00.003+08:00

Yes, I'm having flu for the umpteenth time and its only March! This is the effect of the H1N1 immunisation jab which I had about a week ago.

Didn't know that the side effect can be this long! Grrrr.....

Been taking flu meds to surpress the mucus from dripping but gravity wins, most of the time!

Its either blocked or its either too watery! hahaha....

Hokay, enough of crapping on this blog and I better get my arse to bed! Ample rest is still the best cure...

Toodles peeps, another early nite for moir!

R.I.P, Monster!

2010-03-22T20:11:00.006+08:00

Remember about my previous entry about Monster having problem with a broken axle shaft and was left at Kuantan?

The parts came in, broken shaft replaced and was ready for collection by last weekend. Initially, Bebeh wanted to accompany Zul Big Bird to Kuantan to collect his rig. However, last minute he decided to take a coach there together with Yati instead.

While they left for Kuantan, the few of us went to East Coast for the kids and men to cycle and later on headed to Changi Village for dinner. At about 9.30pm, Zul called Bebeh to inform him that they have reached Mersing and heading home soon. As usual, the 2 of them were talking about Monster and even making some crude jokes. I remembered, Bebeh telling Zul to drive carefully and to call him when he has safely reached home.

Within a span of half an hour Zul called Bebeh again and we got the shock of our lives when he told Bebeh that he has met with an accident! Zul lost control to negotiate a sharp bend, did a 360 degree spin, hit the edge of the bend and Monster flipped twice! I recalled asking Bebeh frantically on Yati's condition and all of us were glad that they escaped with minimal injuries.

Plans of meeting up with them at the accident scene began to fall into place. Soon 4 cars drove up to Mersing to meet up with Zul and Yati, to assist them in whatever means they could. Bebeh went together with Norman and Yus while some of us remained on standby in Singapore.

I was listless and worried thinking about my friends and my memory flood gate was opened! It brought me back to 2 years ago of the nasty accident both Bebeh and I had at Laos. Again another couple in our circle of friends was given a second chance in life! I couldn't sleep and was watching TV while my mind wondered....

Then Zul called asking me to help out to source for towing services from Singapore which is able to tow Monster from causeway. Luckily Hairi wasn't asleep yet and communicated with him via MSN to assist me. From there everything went smoothly and Monster was brought into Singapore. Bebeh reached home close to 5am and I was yet to sleep.

On Sunday, went to IDAC at Portsdown to take a look at Monster. Almost couldn't believe it that both Zul and Yati escaped unhurt when I saw Monster's condition. Seems that Allah still love them, Alhamdulillah! Then visited them at SGH and the doctors have confirmed that they have no broken bones or any internal injuries. They were discharged later on in the evening.

During the time of adversity like this, it is very very obvious how united our friends are. We are always there for each other despite some lil internal conflicts of characters and attitudes which I believe is common in a group of people who bonds well. This is not the first time we are there for each other and this will also not be the last time, I swear!

However, looking at Monster's condition, it is beyond repair and likely it has reached the end of its journey.... Monster has always been our Su Frostie's sparring partner... they have travelled to places together and been great rigs to their owners. Monster will be missed greatly!

May you rest in peace.....

Monster, Dec 2008 - Mar 2010

Re-Vamp!

2010-03-19T22:57:00.002+08:00

Was in a mood to do a lil re-vamp to my blog!

Looking back, it has undergone a couple of transformations from a simple template to personalised ones...

It may be a simple design but its out of my own creativity (although, I don't hv much! hehe!)..

A lil touch up to be done but enough for now...

A Lil Mis-Adventure @ Kampong

2010-03-18T20:19:00.003+08:00

Over the weekend, went back to Kampong together with Zul's and Abg Man's family.

It was initially a 3 days trip which needed to be extended another night when Big Bird's Monster encountered a lil problem....

Monster's axle couldn't take it anymore and broke! Yes it broke...and its still at Kuantan waiting for parts to come in and likely will be ready by Saturday..

Problem started on the very first day when we reached our Kampong and were sourcing for hotels.

On 2nd day managed to squeeze 3 families into 2 cars and headed to Bukit Gambang Water Park for the kids to have some fun!

By the 3rd day, we checked out from Duta Sands Resort and checked into Fantasia Beach Resort for the last nite...And Din Beast stopped over for the nite to join us before he continued his solo ride the following day.

Even with lil hiccups we never fail to have fun especially when its at our own self declared kampong!

Balik Kampong Part Deux

2010-03-12T20:57:00.001+08:00

Besok aku NAK BALIK KAMPONG lagi!

Fullstop.

:)

World Behind My Wall

2010-03-08T23:11:00.003+08:00

When I came across the song title, it already caught my attention and after reading the lyics, it struck my emotions even harder....

So very true indeed.... and after all these years, I opened up and allow myself to see the world behind my imaginary walls...

It seems that I can't compete with them all and with the games they play, they are making me insane slowly....

So I've surrendered defeat and decided to retreat back... and my walls are up again....it is better this way, for me and for everyone....

Lyrics:

Tokio Hotel - World Behind My Wall

It's raining today
The blinds are shut
It's always the same
I tried all the games
that they play
But they made me insane

Life on tv
It's random
It means nothing to me
I'm writing down
What I cannot see
Wanna wake up in a dream

Oh
They're telling me
its beautiful
I believe them
but will I ever know
The world behind my wall
Oh
The sun will shine
like never before
One day I will be
ready to go
See the world behind my wall

Trains in the sky
Are travelling
through fragments of time
They're taking me to
parts of my mind
That no one can find

I'm ready to fall
I'm ready to crawl
on my knees to know it all
I'm ready to heal
I'm ready to feel

Oh
They're telling me
it's beautiful
I believe them
but will I ever know
The world behind my wall
Oh
The sun will shine
like never before
One day I will be
ready to go
See the world behind my wall
See the world behind my wall
See the world behind my wall
See the world behind my wall

I'm ready to fall
I'm ready to crawl
on my knees to know it all
I'm ready to heal
I'm ready to feel

Take me there!
Take me there!
Take me there!

Oh
They're telling me
it's beautiful
I believe them
But will I ever know
The world behind my wall

'Hang Over'

2010-03-04T20:22:00.003+08:00

Silent tears and smiling at the same time....

Probably I'm heading for insanity?

Depressed...

Having a 'hang-over'...

Why can't it be NOW?

Our Pride n Joy

2010-02-22T23:23:00.003+08:00

I received a phone call in the morning while was busy at work.... It was Ilyas and unexpectedly, he told me that he has completed reading the Al Quran!

Took me off guard but I was so proud hearing that from him. Congratulate my boy and I didn't know it would be this fast.

He has been reading the Quran for about 2 years and thanks to my Mom for having all the patience and wisdom to teach him through...

Like any normal kids, there were days he was plain lazy to recite the Quran verses and buying time by going to the loo at frequent rate and not forgetting giving lame excuses of being sleepy.

But all my Mom's patience and hardwork has paid off... He has completed reading the 30 juz of the holy Al Quran early this morning. Nope it doesn't end here... He will start reciting the 1st page again by tomorrow! Hehe..

Ilyas, both Ibu and Abah are very proud of your achievement. Well done, son!

Back From Kampong

2010-02-19T22:45:00.004+08:00

4 days of riding.... 3 nights of different locations and themes....

1st nite - Kuantan Town - Bistro Nite
2nd nite - Kuala Trengganu - Pasar Malam Nite
3rd nite - Balok Beach - Along The Beach Nite

Endless fun and laughter... The ride back home was an adrenalin rush!

First time riding with my uncle and he's a speed demon! hahaha.... Personally felt that it would only be more complete if my brother and sis-in-law were around to ride with us...

It is not the destination that matters but its the journey and the people we are with that makes a trip memorable one...

Special thanks to Norman for lending "38" to us again....

Till the next ride...

For the rest of the pics, please view in Multiply or FB, hokay?

Learning Journey

2010-02-18T21:02:00.003+08:00

Someone told me this....

"Too much positivity can be harmful"... Ponder on that and I feel its true!

And decipher on this one too....

"Sometimes, the betrayed is also a betrayer"

Such an irony but ironies make one's life a learning journey...

Balik Kampung

2010-02-11T00:24:00.003+08:00

I wanna go back to my self proclaimed kampung and find peace there, over this long weekend!
Over here there's too much of hustle and bustle....

I need the serenity at Kuantan....
Savouring the delicious food at Kemaman...
And watching beautiful sunsets at Trengganu and Cherating...

And best of all, I'm donning my riding gears again!
Woot! Woot!

~Adventure Touring Is Our Passion~

Ironic Urges

2010-02-02T19:50:00.003+08:00

During lunch, I found myself wandering alone at Popular bookstore....

I have this strong urge to get myself 2 items.... but I managed to control my spending spree when I looked at my watch and found it was time to return to the training centre...

First, I wanted to get myself an external hard disk to format my netbook before everything goes 'kaput' and of course storage space of photos I took.... It was offering a good price and very tempting to grab one, especially if its such a sleek and compact design...

Later on, I was at the Diaries, Notebooks and Journals section.... and was amused looking at intricate designs of some of those books.... reminded me of the good old days of penning down my thoughts in my Diaries.... Btw, I do still keep some of my diaries... :)

The urge was there to get one and maybe start again...penning down thoughts via the traditional way...pen and paper...more satisfaction...more personal and more of myself.... Possibly I can start a scrapbook cum journal.... where I can doodle and at the same time have personal quotes or beautiful quotes of others written in that book....

Hmmm.... thats worth to think of....and to think back, both items seemed ironic urges of mine for today.... one is so advanced and into technology while the other is so traditional yet so personalised and so me, once upon a time...

But the similarities of both items are, there are where my personal reflections of life can be stored, recorded and kept....

I guess, its just a matter of time... they will be mine! Tee hee!

Sick Of Being Sick

2010-01-31T21:12:00.003+08:00

A week has passed and never have I felt so sick my entire life...

I felt like my energy is all drained out...

I'm tired of blowing my nose and coughing out phlegms...

I'm tired of checking my temperature daily and having to roll my eyes each time the thermometer showed I have a low grade fever...

And I'm tired of coughing uncontrollably...

I lost the will to do almost everything except for burying myself under the covers...

Please God, make me well again... if its not too much for me to ask...

Sick Again

2010-01-26T11:03:00.003+08:00

Been a while I've not had fever... high fever that is!

I realised that my body immune system is getting weaker... and that's the risk I have to take and to live with ever since I lost my spleen during the Enduro ride accident...

This year alone, I've like fall sick almost every other week and its just January! hahaha....

For the first 2 years after the accident, my immune system was quite strong and I rarely fall sick... and they say I only need to take the pneumococcal jab once every 5 years...seems that the immunity jab is running low on me and I'm not even at the halfway mark! pfft!

Yesterday was horrible, went to bed after taking meds and only to realise that I was having high fever when I woke up in the evening....

It didnt go off and went to see my family doctor and was given another day to rest.... Now its like playing hide and seek with me....

Hopefully by tomorrow it will wear off and I'm fit to go to work... Meanwhile, lemme snuggle up in bed again and letting the meds to take effect...

Weigh The Odds

2010-01-21T23:08:00.002+08:00

My world doesn't evolves around you alone and what makes you think that I give a damn in whatever you do?

We are given a brain and a heart to make good use of them... So, please utilise them to the max!

Judge it and weigh the odds....Think what is best for yourself.... Afterall, each his own and if you are heading for destruction, by all means, GO!

I have almost everything that I want in life... nothing else matters except for my loved ones.... I am contented....

Been there, done that... Fullstop!

Adventure Touring Is Our Passion

2010-01-16T10:42:00.004+08:00

Today marks the 2nd year 'anniversary' of our mis-adventure at Laos. We still miss FD6S badly and its never the same feel although we have started riding again....

Patience is running thin but each time we were about to give up on him, friends would always encourage us and said that he will be back... Yes, we know he will be back but we just don't know when...

How weird some people may think that we are so attached emotionally to a piece of machine but only those who has passion and the same interest would understand how we feel.... FD6S is not just any machine... we owe our lives to him and he has bring us to places that we've never dreamed that we'd reach there....

Anyway, tonight, we'll be having a BBQ cum lepak session with some friends who shares the same interest and passion as us.... and some say, tonight's gathering is a part tribute to the rise of the fallen couple... and those who has shared their eye opening journey together with them...

I recalled telling friends and blogging that I may be bended and broken and I have to live with ugly scars till the day I die, but never would I allow anyone to scar my passion & spirit for adventure touring....

This is just the beginning....

Ouch!

2010-01-12T00:08:00.003+08:00

Something which I need to bear with till the day I die, perhaps?

Ugly scars and a swollen ankle which used to suffer from a fracture dislocation...

That's the risk with having pillion riding as a passion...

But hey, I'm not complaining since I've been given 2 days of MCs to rest... An extended weekend!

Wohoo! And... Ouch?!

Subconcious Change

2010-01-05T23:38:00.005+08:00

I was just reading some entries of mine, made a year ago and looking back, things have changed so much over a year...

People moved on without realising but I guess that makes our world go round.... We change subconciously...

Change is good although it hurts....at times..

I was so afraid of losing friendship and feeling low at times for having friendship at stake....

What I blogged about back then, in fact did come true, as predicted.... Perhaps unknowingly, I've changed the cause of direction, myself....

I dunno... but I think I'm in a much better emotional position to handle this...although I'm just not yet ready to say goodbye....

:(

Back To Reality

2010-01-03T14:11:00.008+08:00

Heya peeps! My 1st entry in 2010! Cool...

Reached Singapore a.k.a Land of Reality yesterday morning. Safe and sound with beautiful memories of Hatyai, Phuket and Krabi for about 9 days.

Yeah, we headed to Krabi after staying at Phuket for 2 nights. Got a similar hotel like Arita in Krabi only that the food is right in front of our hotel's door step. Hotel was at Ao Nang Beach...Krabi's more tranquil compared to the hustle and bustle of Phuket.

Pics are up in Multiply and FB. Can't be bothered to edit stuff over in Multiply...as I find the site is getting worse... miss those good old days of Multiply!

Anyway, I'm missing all these already.....

Can somebody send me back to the Land of Thousand Smiles, please?

Sawadee Ka

2009-12-28T00:19:00.003+08:00

Harlow peeps! Greetings from Phuket!

We have safely reached Phuket in the late afternoon today and for the past 2 nights we were at Hatyai. I was kinda miserable as there was no free WIFI over there... Almost gave up seaching for for free internet access.

Today, Yus & Ida headed to Cameron Highlands while we continued our journey to Phuket together with Zul's & Yazid's family.

We didn't make any hotel reservations and while the rest had their late lunch, Me, Bebeh & Zul were searching for a decent place to stay. One of the criteria was at least a hotel with a swimming pool for the kids as the beach isn't that 'healthy' for the kids... *winkz*

Went in and out of hotels and guest house at Patong Beach to ask for room availabilities & rates..till we found one newly built hotel known as Arita Hotel. Its not even a month old with cosy rooms and a roof top swimming pool. The kids are ecstatic as they were deprived from swimming pool at Hatyai... just like I was deprived from internet access over there! heehee!

Anyway, most of us have at least been to Phuket before the Tsunami hit the island on 26 Dec 2004. We seemed to recognise some landmarks but mostly the orientation has changed. Somehow, Phuket looked familiar but yet different...

We'll be staying here for at least 2 to 3 nights before deciding where to head next....and it feels so good to be back to the cyber world again!

:)

Goodbye 2009

2009-12-24T21:36:00.004+08:00

In a few hours time we'll be heading for Thailand... It will be Ilyas' and Su Frostie's virgin trip to Thailand...

To think again, Ilyas was made in Thailand, at Koh Samui...hehe! I'm not too sure if I'm able to give updates over there but I'll try...

Looking back, 2009 come and go like a breeze and in a few days' time we'll be ushering 2010...

I hope to have a fresh start in 2010... leaving behind all of what's left as memories and nothing more....

2009 made me grew into a different person... someone who has 2 different pesonas... a darker side of me whom not many knew and I wish to kill and bury that character of mine....

There is no need for Ms Hyde to co-exist when I have almost everything. I don't need her. So 2010 is a good time to start afresh...

Goodbye to you and this time, I really mean it...

Loss n Gain

2009-12-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

It was an unplanned meet up but had lunch with a friend yesterday. I was being treated to Swensen's. Nice food, cool ambience and lunching with a friend.

What more do I want?.... except that the 'sharing session' isn't that great.... Bad news ... a failed relationship and my friend have to start picking up the broken pieces and start all over again.

I'm given the trust which I'm honoured that friends have in me... and this friend of mine... we gotto know each other 'indirectly' and its only been 2 years of friendship.....but it was only this year when the 'sharing session' got more intense....

It was not my friend's decision to end the relationship but because of intervention by 3rd parties who are blood related that led to this sad ending of what most of us friends thought that it was an ideal union of 2 hearts....

I find that each time I got close to some friends its always due to problem sharing sessions with me that our friendship deepens and evolved....

It seemed that tragic and sad stories strengthen my bond with my friends and how ironical that is.... One man's loss seems to be another man's gain...

Us

2009-12-22T01:04:00.003+08:00

It has faded away...

Slowly but surely...

But the bond of trust has escalated...

And nothing compares...

Unique in its own way...

It has woven into our lives...

And form a fabric of comfort...

Which we know what it can provide for us...

Just us...

Till the end of time...

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi

2009-12-16T21:24:00.003+08:00

Hatiku tersentuh setiap kali aku mendengarkan lagu ini....

Lagu yg dinyanyikan dengan penuh makna oleh Anang kepada bekas isterinya, penyanyi popular Kris Dayanti ketika didapati menyelingkuh dan curang kepadanya...

Aku bukan peminat setia mereka tetapi lagu ini terlalu mendalam erti nya, seolah-olah aku boleh merasakan kepedihan hati Anang ketika menciptakan dan menyayikan lagu ini...

Mungkin keadaan sekelilingku ada mencerminkan sedikit sebanyak seperti yang dilakarkan pada lirik lagu ini....

Simbolik lagu dan lirik ini bukan pada jalan cerita hidupku tetapi pada segelintir orang-orang yang dekat dihatiku....

Semoga kegagalan yang mereka alami adalah detik permulaan untuk mereka menemukan cinta sejati...

Lirik :

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi
Memang indah semua
Tapi berakhir luka
Kau main hati dengan sadarmu
Kau tinggal aku

Chorus:
Benar ku mencintaimu
Tapi tak begini
Kau khianati hati ini
Kau curangi aku

Kau bilang tak pernah bahagia
Selama dengan aku
Itu ucap bibirmu
Kau dustakan semua
Yang kita bina
Kau hancurkan semua

Chorus

Benar ku mencintaimu
Tapi tak begini
Kau khianati
Kau curangi aku
Kau dustai hati
Benar ku mencintaimu

No Mood

2009-12-14T20:36:00.003+08:00

Its been a while I've not been given 2 days MC. Definitely need to rest and even Ilyas has gotten the flu bug from me. A times we were even doing the synchronise coughing! haha...

Seems that our vacation is coming soon and there's lots of stuff I've yet to prepare... Such as the travel insurance and car insurance which needs to be extended to Phuket....And I've yet to pack Ilyas school books. Packing which includes writing his name and wrapping the books in clear plastic. Gosh! Panic mode seems to creep in slowly...

Being sick definitely did not help in building the mood to clear stuff...The only thing I wanna do for the past few days was to sleep and hide under the covers. Wasn't even engrossed in the cyber world except for playing some games for a while....

I hope this sickly feeling will go away by the time I'm back to work...

Leaking Tap

2009-12-11T20:37:00.002+08:00

Today, my nose was like a leaking tap.... A bad day to fall sick when half of my team members were not around and plus weekend is here...

But my Da Jie Da was concern enough and she 'chased' me out of office 2 hours earlier at the expense of my time off! hehe...

Started to feel unwell since Tuesday evening and seems that my Thai blood has run out ...crappy joke with friends about me not easily falling sick due to the 8 pint of blood transfusion which I had in Bangkok due to the accident last year....

Seems I'm not immune anymore and far from immortality... Ahakz!

Well I've popped in some meds and hopefully it will help solve 'the leaking tap' ... hehe!

Walking Vault

2009-12-08T23:06:00.003+08:00

I feel like I'm a walking vault full of secrets in it!!! Friends trusted me very much or rather too much? Hehe..

Is that suppose to be good or bad? Anyway... I'm honoured for every single one of them who shares with me on their secrets or stories or white lies or whatever you wanna call it...

And along the way, some skeletons in the closet were exposed... during the sharing session with me...

I'm kinda cool and sorta numb with any news....nothing surprises me anymore as someone has trained me well in that aspect...

To me, the principle of life is "Each his own!" and "Never to judge others"...

All Geared Up!

2009-12-04T00:00:00.004+08:00

My mind is pre-occupied with many stuff.... getting excited of the upcoming vacation... the much awaited long drive to Phuket...Not much plan involved this time ... more like an unplanned vacation... we shall just see how thing goes when we get there...No schedule to follow...

It was like only last year when together with some friends we were dreaming about owning an SUV and to travel the world by road... Alhamdulillah, seems that our dream is close to reality... Phuket for now and perhaps further next year?

And earlier on, Yus Bogster called Bebeh and wanted to plan a 2 year anniversary of the Enduro 5 Nation Ride with an overnite lepak session at a local chalet...and we'll help him out to make this event a successful one... hopefully?! hehe...

I'm all excited and focused... no time for side tracks and mushy stuff...hehe...

Hayabusa Babe is back on track! Wooot!

Confidant

2009-11-29T22:11:00.004+08:00

Time is an essence and time will heal all wounds. Yes I believe so. Over time, my emotions are almost normal again... Perhaps I REALLY have moved on?

A few days ago, has proven it all. I was there for you but only as a confidant and nothing more. I'm not expecting more from you and neither were you.

I like that and hope to stay that way for a long long time. Have faith in me and I'll stand by you as your confidant...

Till the end of time... I promise!

Down

2009-11-24T09:46:00.004+08:00

Back from riding trip to kampong Kuantan....together with Hubby and my brothers.... I'm the only pillion....

Photo updates are up in FB.... and this time round we gave almost instant updates as long as there's free WIFI in Kuantan.... and comments from friends kept pouring in even before we reached home!

We even have this 'forum' page of 'Zul Sayang Yati'....hahaha! Only 4 of us but enough to bring the house down at Kuantan!

And again going for rides makes my head clearer and my heart ever more determined.... I guess I don't need all this 'extra curriculum' or excess baggage of emotions.

Anyway, now I'm down and I'm at home with a day of MC.... Down with a throbbing headache, a blocked nose, slight fever and throat inflammation... Taking my meds soon and going to lala land!

Emotional Therapy

2009-11-20T23:38:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow I'll be donning my riding gears again...

Need to feel sane again and have my moments to myself where I can think properly again...

We are going to ride to our self proclaimed kampung and that's Kuantan for those who doesn't know!

Nah... FD6S is still 'unwell' and its not "38"... this time, we are riding Din's Beast...

I'm having this feeling that its gonna be a wet ride again....but its ok.... its the ride that matters...weather and terrain are just making it slightly more interesting!

So juz wait up for updates ya peeps.... meanwhile need to get my head straight and reset my heart to its normal condition again!

Therapy to the emotions is on its way...hehe!